Hacking in the Woods

by Kyle Loaney
18″ x 24″ – one-color screen print

A girl I dated was really into golf and wanted me to golf with her. I hadn’t played since I was a kid, so I assumed this would go badly, but I liked this girl so…. As we were about to tee off, a group of Bros began watching us and their presence flustered me. My girlfriend tees off first and smashes one perfectly down the middle of the fairway. The Bro’s cheer loudly.

I swing and the ball goes … about three feet. The Bros burst out laughing. I quickly run to my ball, swing, and it goes 3 ft in the opposite direction. After maybe 10 hacks I had only made it about 20 yards down the fairway and into the trees. I became increasingly distraught when my girlfriend screams “OH FOR F**K’S SAKE” and kicks my ball down the middle of the fairway.

I was mortified and angry, but we kept golfing and I eventually calmed down and began to laugh. I realized she was probably
the one… and we’ve been together for over 10 years now, and married for five.